


We could be heroes (me and you)

by Blackwidowislyfe



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU- what if villans became heros, Angst, Blood, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Light BDSM, Loki Feels, Loki Gets a Hug, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Odin's A+ Parenting, Odin's Bad Parenting, Other, Panic Attacks, Part-comic Part-Movie canon, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Poor Loki, Reed Richards is a good bro, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Seriously this is heavy, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 06:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5616745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwidowislyfe/pseuds/Blackwidowislyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(I have no idea who sings that song, but yeah, credit to her for the title.)</p><p>*Formerly known as "Loki's Never ending pain."</p><p>Basically an AU where Loki is a depressed, slightly-suicidal mess and the Avengers intervene (At Dr. Doom's request). And then things happen. This is dark, heavy, and probably very triggering. Reader discretion is HEAVILY advised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am honestly unsure why I was even writing this, but I thought, "Why the hell not?" This is basically an AU where, if I continue, Loki and Doom would at least become not villians anymore. Idk where it came from (*cough* my own depression *cough*), but yeah.
> 
> Anyways, to clarify a few things: for Dr. Doom I went a mix of movie and comic-book canon. So pretty much he can take off the metal, but the backstory and stuff is kind of movie and a mix of my own. For Loki, I kind of went crazy and just put as much angst as I could. 
> 
> HEAVY TRIGGER WARNING. There is definite, and quite graphic mentions of self harm, mentions of past abuse (Loki and Bruce), and heavy mentions of past rape/non-con. Also BDSM. Kind of. This is just sort of me throwing this out there, to see what happens. If you guys like it, I'll keep working on it.

He woke up, slowly, not completely sure of anything. "Victor?" He croaked. The man was at his side instantly, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his hands.

 

"Darling," He said in a strained voice. Had he been crying? Was he trying not to?

 

"Where... What...?"

 

"You were trying to hurt yourself again, and nearly killed yourself," A new voice explained. "You're in the Avengers Tower, under my care until you're capable of answering a few questions."

 

Loki whimpered, clinging tighter to Victor's hand. "Love, I promise, Dr. Banner and.... Reed have been doing everything they can to take care of you. They won't hurt you I swear."

 

"It's kind of a dick move to take advantage of someone unconscious anyways," Bruce shrugged.

 

"Doesn't mean it doesn't happen," Loki croaked. "Water?"

 

Bruce raised an eyebrow. Had he really...? No, he was probably just still looped up on something Reed probably put in his system. In any case, it looked like he was settling back down for a nap, and Victor was once again at his side, curling up next to his lover. Bruce couldn't help the tiny smile that formed on his face. If nothing else, they had each other.

 

* * * *

 

_It happened like this. Loki was in a mood swing, and suddenly throwing shit around in his designated safe-space wasn't helping anymore. He needed destruction. He needed chaos. He needed... He needed... He needed vengeance. Vengeance for everything that had gone wrong last time they tried to fight the Avengers, and how his spell had made them lose half of the arsenal of Doombots they were trying to test out. He deserved a punishment for it. But not the kind Victor would willingly provide him, with several outs and safewords and cuddles afterwards.  No, he needed something permanent, something to teach him not to be so incompetent and awful._

_  
_ _He wasn't quite aware of the knife until it was in his hand. Well, he might as well put it to good use. He dragged the blade across his skin, again and again. He finally hit his target and his arm started gushing, dripping on to the floor. That wouldn't do. He needed a punishment for that after the mess was cleaned up. He grabbed a paper towel, ignoring the gashing blood coming out of his arm, and knelt to try and clean it up, but he passed out, managing to hit his head in the process._

_  
_ _. . ._

_  
_ _That's how Victor had found him. And that's why he called the Avengers (IE, Thor). He knew no one would help him if he called EMS. Thor arrived, took one look at Loki, and grew misty eyed._

_  
_ _"We cannot leave him to die," He told Iron Man. Tony growled. Victor knew he was torn, but the stupid hero nodded._

_  
_ _"JARVIS, tell Bruce to get Richards, two pints of blood, and the OR in the lab ready. You," He said, pointing at Victor, "Better have a really good Alibi for this. Get whatever the hell you need and let's go, we're loosing time." Victor nodded, grabbing the bare minimum (Meaning his underwear and Loki's security blanket, which he stuffed inside his own armor), and grabbed the flying segway, and they were off._

_  
_ _* * * *_

_  
_ As soon as Loki was out, Bruce came back. "What did he mean by his comment earlier?" He asked softly, so as not to wake the sleeping giant.

 

Victor frowned. "That's not for me to disclose," He answered.

 

"Need I remind you that until he's healed you two are at our mercy? You'd be better off telling me than anyone else," Bruce said. "Has he been....?"

 

"Several times," Victor sighed. "No one, not even his oaf of a brother believed him. He was abused physically as well."

 

"Son of a bitch," Bruce growled, pinching his nose and attempting to take deep breaths.

 

"If you were to go green, might I suggest you not do so in here?" Victor said. "He's quite skittish, despite what you might think."

 

Bruce continued to breathe deeply. "My father was a bastard. He abused me physically, emotionally... verbally." He looked at Loki. "That probably played into this mess."

 

Victor nodded. "I try to help him as best as I can, but... I don't think I'm doing enough."

 

Bruce nodded. "When he wakes up again, we should discuss this together. Is there anything else I should be aware of, as his doctor?"

 

"....He has nightmares after these sorts of things happen, and he doesn't always escape.... with his pride intact."

 

"Meaning...?"

 

"Don't make me spell it out," Victor whined.

 

Bruce sighed. "I'm sure I'll figure that out soon enough. If you need us, ask JARVIS. Kitchen is three floors up, the coffee machine is always on. Rest, and if I catch you abusing our mercy, I will not hesitate to kick your ass, green or not."

 

Victor nodded. "I was just going to sleep," He admitted. "Goodnight, Dr. Banner."

 

".....Call me Bruce," He said as he left. Victor smiled, pulling out Loki's security blankie, placing it in the man's arms.

 

* * * *

 

"And just how are our lovely guests?" Tony asked as Bruce emerged onto the common floor.

 

"There's more than meets the eye Tony," He sighed, going to make tea.

 

"Do enlighten me," Tony said, not really paying attention as he fiddled with his Starkpad. "Shall I get Richards too?"

 

"Someone said my name?" The man asked, coming out of the restroom.

 

Bruce sighed. "I think Loki's depressed."

 

"Psh, what gave it away?" Tony sneered.

 

Reed rolled his eyes. "Why the sudden interest in his well being?"

 

"One, I wouldn't be a doctor if I didn't care, and two.... Victor and I were discussing his medical history."

 

"And?" Richards asked, almost with glee. What was he really hoping to get from this? A new thing to study?

 

"He's been abused and violated in some of the worst ways," He sighed.  Tony cringed, and Richards frowned.

 

"How many times? By who? Did he ever tell anyone?" Richards asked rapidly.

 

"Don't know, didn't say, and yes, but no one ever believed him," Bruce sighed.

 

Tony squirmed before simply up and leaving. He couldn't stand to think about this anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super long notes are boring, I know, but trust me, this is going to clarify a lot.
> 
> 1\. MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING (Also bedwetting but Shhh and read below)
> 
> 2\. So to volunteer for ANYTHING at my church, you have to go through what's called "Safe Environment Training." Basically you learn how to identify abuse, and how to intervene. In completing the course, I learned more than I ever wanted to know about sexual abuse. One of the signs was bedwetting. So yeah! :/ Am I a horrible person for writing this?
> 
> 3\. When I say Loki's security blankie, I imagine Doom knitting/crocheting it and being super adorable. Also, it would look something like [this](https://www.etsy.com/listing/244731071/deadpool-snuggle-buddy-baby-security?ref=related-1) Except like a doombot, because feels.
> 
> 4\. Sorry for going on and Enjoy!

Loki whimpered, turning over away from Victor. "No, stop," He mumbled in his sleep. That was what awoke his husband. Well that, and the warm wetness that was slowly spreading over his leg.

 

"Shh, Darling you're safe," He murmured. "come on, wake up. I'm right here." Loki woke with a gasp, scrambling away as always. "Shh, you're with me, we're in New York. You're safe, I'm right here. Focus on me, please?" Loki curled into Victor, sobbing harshly, per usual. "Shh," He cooed, wrapping his arms around his husband.

 

"I'm sor-"

 

"Shh. Nothing to be sorry about," victor assured him. "Nothing."

 

"But Stark-"

 

"Will kindly shut his mouth, even if I have to make him," Victor said. "Do you trust me?" Loki nodded slowly, clutching his security blanket to his chest. "JARVIS, would you mind summoning Thor?"

 

"Absolutely. Shall I summon Dr. Banner as well?" the AI responded.

 

Victor looked at his husband, then at the IV in his arm. "Probably a good idea, but keep quiet about why?"

 

"Absolutely. I shall let him know," The AI said.

 

* * * *

 

"Mnf, Bruce!" Tony whined.

 

"You like that?" He murmured, stroking Tony again.

 

"Dr. Banner, I am afraid you are needed in the lab," JARVIS piped up.

 

"Ugh, what did those idiots do now?" Tony groaned.

 

"I am afraid I have been told not to disclose that piece of information," JARVIS answered. Bruce sighed, having a hunch.

 

"Tony I need to go figure this out," Bruce said.

 

"Make Richards!" Tony whined.

 

"Such a brat."

 

"You know you love it," Tony teased. "Just send him."

 

"No. I'm going, and if you want any chance of me getting you off later, you will do as I say," Bruce said, using his Dom voice. Tony whined. "And, since you've been such a naughty boy..." He dug out a pair of handcuffs from the beside table's drawer. "You can stay here until I get back."

 

Tony pouted, but let his lover do his work. When Bruce was thoroughly satisfied, he smirked. "Stay here and think about why you're handcuffed mister," He said, before stalking out of the room. He stopped in front of the elevator to catch his breath. He had no idea what he could be walking into. Maybe it WOULD be better if Richards went to deal with this, or at least came with him. But then again the last time Victor and Reed were in the same room.... No, he would investigate, and if things were bad, he could call for back-up. He took the ride down to the lab Loki was in, and walked in calmly. Thor was there too, his brother crushed against his chest, whispering to him. Bruce cleared his throat.

 

"You wanted me?" He said softly, taking in the sight before him. Loki nibbled his lip and looked up nervously at his brother.

 

"You are safe brother, no one will hurt you again as long as I am around," He murmured.

 

Loki hid his face back in his brother's chest. "Mnfmmnf," He mumbled.

 

"Riiiiiight. Well, I think maybe we should take out that IV for starters," Bruce said gently. "And then maybe we can clean you up." That appeared to be the wrong thing to say, because Loki burst into tears. Thor rubbed his back, Victor murmuring to him. Finally the God of Mischief moved to his feet, holding his arm out for Bruce.

 

The older man made quick work of the IV, having it out in seconds. "When you get back, we need to change the bandages on your arms," He informed Loki.

 

*ONE AWKWARD BED-CHANGING LATER*

 

Loki looked so fragile and Tiny in Thor's clothes. He blushed and hung his head in shame when he saw the clean bed. "I am truly sorry," He whispered.

 

Bruce shrugged. "I've pretended to be a doctor in Calcutta, I've cleaned up worse things," He said. "We should change your arm bandage."

 

"Right," Loki said, sinking onto the bed. Victor frowned, planting himself by the man's side.

 

Bruce made quick work of the bandages. "Okay, look, I think we may have.... We need to clarify some things," He said gently.

 

Loki shook his head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," He said.

 

"I turn into a giant green monster when I get angry and I've fought aliens with the God of Thunder. I don't think there's much that would surprise me Loki," He said. "Now be honest with me. There is no wrong answer, and I'm only here to help you. When you did this, were you trying to kill yourself?"

 

Loki bit his lip. "I wasn't trying not to," He admitted.

 

Bruce nodded. "How long have you felt like this?"

 

"Years, decades, centuries in your time," He sighed. "No one has bothered to care before my darling Victor."

 

Victor kissed his forehead. "Love, what have I told you about telling me?"

 

"You get so sad when I tell you though."

 

"Have you two ever tried a distraction method before?" Bruce interjected.

 

"Such as?"

 

"Like.... Like drawing on yourself, running, putting a cold ice cube to the skin," Bruce said. "Just something to keep your mind off the urge to hurt yourself."

 

Victor and Loki shared a look. "Evil," They said at the same time.

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"We've always scene'd together to try and help," Victor admitted with a blush. "Or we would go cause mayhem."

 

".....I think we have room to work here. Try and rest and we can talk more in the morning, okay?"

 

Loki nodded, yawning. "I am sorry about everything."

 

"Like I said, I've dealt with worse," Bruce smiled. "Goodnight."

 

"Sleep well brother," Thor added, patting his head. Bruce smiled, leaving to go deal with his brat upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I Have no clue what anything BDSM is! So if handcuffing Tony and leaving him alone to deal with that was too much, I'm sorry and I won't do it again. :P I'm still not 100% sure on this. Just lemme know with comments/kudos if you want to see me keep going/what you think I should do I guess. I love you all and I'll see you next time! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I had this really awkward spanking scene in here originally. Then I decided "Nope!" and now it's gone. So yeah. Also, general trigger warning. The usual, and Loki has a panic attack over nothing. Also, I'm portraying everything Loki goes through the way I have gone through it. That's why it may seem patchy and a bit hot and cold sometimes.

The next morning, Victor awoke slowly, his arms curled tightly around Loki. He felt trapped. On the one hand, he wanted to protect the man at all costs, from anything that would dare hurt him. But look where that had landed them. At the mercy of the Avengers, and not even all of them. The two that Loki had affected the most were away. He had a bad feeling about that....

 

"Ahem," A voice said. Victor looked up to see Reed Richards standing in the doorway. "May I come in?"

 

"Do I have a choice," Victor growled. Reed smirked and set a tray of food on the table beside the hospital bed.

 

"You know, for all it's worth, I know how much you care about him," Reed said. "You let US take care of him. That says a lot Victor."

 

".....I can't let him die," Victor answered. "He's my world. The one time I let him out of my sight he nearly ended the world."

 

"He's not very stable, is he?"

 

Victor shook his head. "And I can't.... I can't fix it," He answered, getting choked up. "I'm supposed to know how and I can't."

 

"Hey, that's why you're here and Tony didn't kick you out the minute he woke up. Despite what you may think, we do have people's best interests at heart. It takes time to heal the kinds of wounds he has though."

 

"How much time?" Victor asked warily.

 

".....I'm not the one to ask, Bruce is," Reed answered.

 

*MEANWHILE UPSTAIRS*

 

"We can't let them go, Tony," Bruce sighed.

 

"And please, explain to me why not, because I fail to see how  keeping two ruthless villans in my tower is going to please the three SHIELD agents due back any day now," He muttered.

 

"Would you have kicked me out after that night? Or left when you told me?" Bruce countered. Tony swallowed hard.

 

"That's different," He whispered.

 

"No it's not. We got through it, didn't we?" Bruce asked, earning himself a tiny nod. "They need us to show them how to deal Tony. I'm not gonna have a suicide on my soul. Not when I could have stopped it." Tony nodded.

 

"Come on, let's invite them to breakfast."

 

* * * *

 

Thor was down there as soon as Loki was starting to awake. He had hurt his brother too much, by not listening to him. He would hurt him no longer, he swore. Plus, he was the only one in the tower who was capable of clothing him right now anyways.

 

He walked in with a smile to see him rubbing his eyes. The little knit toy was barely concealed under his pillow, and for just a minute, Thor let himself believe that everything was normal. And then his brother looked at him with such a broken look, he couldn't possibly deny it. "Stark an Banner are preparing food," He said softly. "You should join us." Loki simply sighed. "Come, it does not matter what you are wearing. Stark has shown up naked before." That seemed to be the right thing, as he managed to get a weak smile out of his brother.

 

"Alright," He relented. "You swear no one will harm me?"

 

"Not unless they would like to meet Mjolnir," Thor said, just a hint of a challenge taking over his features. "Where is your mate?"

 

Loki shrugged. "He woke me and promised to return," He informed his brother.

 

"I believe he and Dr. Richards were going to retrieve a few things," JARVIS supplied.

 

"So far?" Thor questioned.

 

Loki shrugged. "We have portals and teleporters for these situations," Loki said simply.

 

Thor looked at him skeptically. "And you trust him?"

 

"He has yet to fail me, brother," Loki insisted. "Now, how good of a cook are your mates?"

 

Thor smiled. "Let me show you."

 

* * * *

 

Breakfast had only been this awkward one other time, and it was the time after Tony had a breakdown and Bruce had needed to glue the pieces of him back together. Almost literally. Loki sat quietly, asking only Thor for things. It was... unsettling to see him so withdrawn.

 

"Um, we should re-evaluate things today," Bruce said. Loki nodded.

 

"Also, where's Shell-head?" Tony asked.

 

Loki shrugged. "Home, gathering a few things I suppose. Your friend Reed is with him," He answered. Thor shrugged, scarfing more eggs down.

 

"Alright, look, if you're gonna be here a while, and from the sounds of things I think you will be, I-" Bruce pinched Tony "-WE have rules." Loki whimpered, feeling his brother place a hand on his shoulder.

 

"They're just until everyone is on the same page, and to keep you safe," Bruce quickly explained. "Ask Tony, he has to follow the same rules." The genius rolled his eyes, getting another pinch for his troubles.

 

"Are you two always this flirtatious before noon?" Loki asked, just a tiny hint of happiness showing in his features.

 

"Only when Tony is mouthy," Bruce said warningly. "Now then. We use safewords around here. If anyone or any THING does something you don't like, just say elemelons."

 

"Elemelons?" Loki asked.

 

Tony giggled. "I'll show you the meme later. we also use green yellow red as okay words too. Red means nothing is okay, stop everything, and it's one hundred percent okay to say that no matter what's going on. Also, you're free to ask JARVIS any questions or for any help, or to get any of us if you start getting overwhelmed. Also, we have a no-suicide slash murder policy around here, so if you get violent with yourself or someone else, someone is GOING to high-tail it to your position and undo as much damage as we can."

 

"And that applies to hurting yourself on purpose too," Bruce said. "That's gonna send me running too."

 

Loki swallowed hard, feeling a little overwhelmed. "I-I don't always... control is..."

 

"Hard?" Tony suggested. Loki nodded. "We get that. Trust me, we do."

 

"Just trust us when we say, we're not here to hurt you," Bruce said softly. "If anyone gets what you've gone through, it's us. Believe me."

 

Loki was trembling. "Brother?" Thor asked.

 

"I-is Barton here?" He asked, feeling himself beginning to lose it again. This is how it always went. He could barely function without Victor. Hadn't this whole incident proved that?

 

"....He, Romanoff, and Captain Spangles are in Canada on some stray mission," Tony said. "They checked in before you guys showed up. If they're not back today they will be tomorrow," Tony said calmly. "I haven't told them you're here."

 

"H-He's gonna hurt me," Loki said, his chest tightening.

 

"I swear brother, he will have to get through the three of us, plus your Victor. Plus the noble archer has been through his own hell."

 

"That I put you through," Loki whispered.

 

"No, you were just a catalyst," Bruce insisted. "Loki, are you okay?" The God of mischief shook his head. "What's wrong?"

 

"Can't... breathe... Scared..."

 

"Hey, come on, look at me," Bruce said, smiling when he got the wide eyes trained on him. "It's just a little panic attack. You're in the tower with your brother and me. We're not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?"

 

"Aye, remember? Mjolnir will stop anyone who dares to come near you without consent," Thor said.

 

"Want... Want..."

 

"Shh, what do you want?"

 

Loki, despite the panic attack, blushed, and that told Thor all he needed. "Why don't we move this to the lab? I believe what you were needing was down there, was it not?" Loki nodded, his breath hitching.

 

"I've probably got something for the attack down there anyways," Bruce said. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know even if this isn't as good as Tiny Little Tasha or TSTFDIATH (Long acronym for long title), I think I enjoy it. I think I'll keep posting. If anyone objects, too bad. :P


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't THINK there are any warnings needed in this one, other than maybe some general awkwardness. Also, I kind of wanted to keep age play out of this, but now that I think about it, I'm not so sure. Any ideas? Leave them in the comments I guess. Also I know this isn't Saturday (or maybe it is where you are), but I just really wanted to update. :D Enjoy lovelies.

Loki really wasn't sure what was happening. Victor. He needed his husband. He knew what to do. He ALWAYS knew what to do. That and his special gift from his husband. It was stupid, he was a grown man. He shouldn't need some dumb toy to help hold him together. But he did. As soon as he was on the bed he pulled it out to cuddle with it. He felt a little better, but the thought of Barton coming back still left his chest tight. Everything felt tight.

 

"Shh, Loki, focus on me," Bruce said, sitting directly in front of him. He got wild eyes, but they were on him. "Listen. We're gonna work on deep breathing, okay?" the God nodded frantically, crushing his security blanket in his grasp. "Now just do what I do. In, out." Loki followed the example, with shaky success.

 

"Good job little brother," Thor murmured, figuring a little praise wouldn't hurt. Loki followed Bruce's example for a while, eventually settling down.

 

"Good job," Bruce praised. "How do you feel now?"

 

"....tired," Loki said softly.

 

"You should rest then," Thor said simply. Loki shook his head. "Yes."

 

"Not without Victor," He whined.

 

Thor thought for a moment. "Would I suffice until your mate returns?" Loki bit his lip and nodded. Thor smiled, and held his brother close, laying them down.

 

"We can talk more when you get up," Bruce whispered. "J, hit the lights?" The room plunged into a comfortable balance of light and dark, as if there were simply a lamp illuminating the room. Loki snuggled into his brother, remembering for a moment how he would do this when they were children and he had bad dreams. It was oddly peaceful, and that was how he fell asleep.

 

*MEANWHILE IN LATVERIA*

 

"Ugh! Where the bloody hell IS IT?!" Victor yelled.

 

"You know, if you would tell me what exactly you're looking for, I would be able to help you find it better," Reed pointed out.

 

"You'd laugh if I told you," Victor muttered.

 

"Try me," Reed challenged.

 

Victor was grateful for the armor to conceal his blush. "The bloody night-light," He growled.

 

Reed snorted. "That's it? I've known that since we were in college silly."

 

Victor whipped his head up, successfully hitting it on the bedframe. "Owww! How did you know you idiot?" He muttered, rubbing his skull.

 

Reed shrugged. "I just had a hunch. Now, what's so special that we had to come all the way here for it?"

 

"It projects stars onto the ceiling. It keeps him calm," Victor said. "Not much does."

 

Reed nodded. "It's dome shaped, right?"

 

"How did-" And suddenly there was a hand reaching from the door to over his head, grabbing the night-light from on the chest of drawers.

 

"You ready?"

 

*BACK AT THE TOWER*

 

Thor watched his brother as he slept. He had known he was troubled most of their childhood, but he never could figure out why. He never would have imagined... _This_.

 

Bruce had informed him the night before. That left him with more questions than answers. How many were there? Had his father... No, probably not. Not if what Loki was saying had any truth behind it. And after watching his brother nearly bleed to death, he had very little doubt there was anything but truth. That itself was making Thor's blood boil.

 

How could their father call himself a kind and fair ruler, yet treat his own flesh and blood- even after everything, Thor still considered Loki exactly that- so poorly? His father was severely misguided. Not only that, but homophobic. He would have words with his father about this.

 

That wasn't going to help his brother now though. They had bigger issues to deal with here before he went to deal with his father. Clint openly despised Loki for what he had made him do. The archer tried not to voice it in front of Thor, but he often forgot that super-humans have super hearing. He didn't hold it against the man, but it hurt to know how much two people he loved had been hurt by the other. He shook his head. This wasn't going to be easy, not by a long shot. But.... if it meant that he got his brother back, TRULY got his brother back, he knew it would be worth it. Even if he didn't, he couldn't stand to see him so torn up.

 

"Thor?" Loki asked, pulling the Demi God from his head.

 

"I am here, I promise," Thor said gently.

 

Loki sighed. "That's half the problem you oaf. You're crushing me," He muttered.

 

Thor laughed softly, rolling off of his brother. Well, if there was snark in there, chances were that the true Loki would be too. They just had to take the time to find him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little bit of implied BDSM here, and Loki goes into subspace. If that's not your jam, kindly dance along. Otherwise, no real triggers. As always, I have no clue what the hell I am doing with BDSM. If I mess this up or get it wrong, PLEASE tell me. I can't learn and get better without some feedback (Plus I just like talking to you lovely people) But yeah, enjoy! :)

Thankfully, no one except Victor and Reed appeared that day. Bruce didn't want to try therapy yet, stating that they should give it at least forty-eight hours from the incident. So Tony, being the wonderful billionare homeowner, showed the two guests (He was sticking with guests as an okay word for now, because honestly he wasn't sure what else to use) to their own private floor.

 

It didn't have the same rustic charm that the castle had, but all the lavishness had somehow been crammed into the tiny space. The living room had a huge expansive window, from floor to ceiling. No balcony, much to Victor's relief. They had three bedrooms (What they were supposed to do with two extra, they had no clue), and of course a kitchen.

 

"We usually all eat upstairs together, but it's whatever you two feel comfortable with," Tony said sincerely. "I pulled together the basics for you two in the fridge, but we can get the more nitty gritty stuff later. I'll just leave you two to settle in." and with that, he left. Loki turned to Victor, and Victor opened his arms to Loki. The God ran full force at him, burying himself in Victor's body, taking him in. The way he smelled, the way he felt... Everything.

 

"I need you," Loki whimpered, feeling himself going to that place. That glorious place where he was safe and he knew Victor would care for him, give him everything he needed.

 

"Come," The man said, taking his God by the hand. He lead Loki to the master bedroom. As with everything in the tower, it was too big and flashy, adorned with simple, mocha sheets and a chocolate brown comforter. That would be changing to green if they decided to stay. It was up to Loki.

 

Loki, his precious sub, who appeared too lost in his head to do anything.

 

"Love, are you alright?" Victor murmured, placing a hand on his lover's cheek gently.

 

"Need... I need...."

 

"What do you need? Whatever it is I shall give you," Victor promised.

 

"I need you," Loki said. "I need you to... to... to touch me. to take me, please."

 

Victor's eyes widened. "You've never asked for that love. Are you certain?"

 

Loki nodded. "I don't.... I don't know why. I just... I just-"

 

"Shh, I will take care of you pet. Don't I always?"

 

Loki gave him a hesitant smile. "What about the one they call JARVIS?"

 

"I assure you gentlemen, barring an emergency there will be no record of what transpires in your bedroom. I will only monitor your vitals."

 

Victor grinned wickedly. "Shall we?"

 

*LE SOMETIME LATER*

 

"....Are you sure you are okay darling?" Victor said, holding his precious sub close.

 

Loki shrugged. He kind of felt like jelly, and like words were still a little too hard. He knew he should tell his beautiful master, but... words...

 

"It's alright love, I'm here," Victor promised. This is what they always needed afterwards. After the blindfolds and the tickles and the spankings and sex, it just... helped. It brought them back to each other, helped them find each other again. Victor let go, only for a moment, grabbing two water bottles from the nightstand. "Drink up."

 

Loki shook his head. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard a voice say that disobedience was bad, and should probably be punished, but Victor didn't push. "Alright, in time," Victor said, pulling the blankets closer around them. "You're freezing."

 

Loki just nuzzled closer to Victor, unable to make himself speak. It felt too good being jelly. Victor kissed his lips. Loki smiled. He wouldn't trade this euphoric feeling for anything. Ever.

 

* * * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint comes home in this one. Seriously, there is a lot of ripping into old wounds and angst and fighting. Also a lot of making people do things they aren't one hundred percent on board with. If you're not cool with that, I would sit this one out. Otherwise enjoy! :)

That night the men left in the tower gathered for Movie Night. It was quiet, without half the team there, but it was still enjoyable. Especially with Loki and Victor being there, and not interrupting it with some dumb scheme per-usual.

 

It was the most peaceful night Loki had experienced in a long time. Even when he and Victor would spend nights in front of their fireplace, Victor knitting and Loki watching TV, it still wasn't as.... inviting as this was. He could get used to this feeling.

 

He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, but suddenly he was aware of Victor carrying him. He didn't mind, but it was a little disconcerting to realize he'd let his guard down again. That was something he couldn't afford to do again. No. no...

 

* * * *

 

The next morning, Loki awoke alone, to a frantic pounding on the door. Where was Victor? He hurried to wrap himself in a blanket and ran to get the door. It was Thor, and from the looks of things... "They're back early, aren't they?"

 

His brother nodded. "Victor insisted I come get you. They want to see you. But Clint..."

 

"I deserve whatever he decides to do," Loki said, going somber again.

 

"No brother, you do not deserve-"

 

"After everything I have done, all the destruction and mayhem and utter violence I have caused, you dare to tell me what I deserve or not?" Loki scoffed. "Let me throw on clothes and let's go have a fucking PARTY! Let someone else tear into my weaknesses! Not like Bruce was planning anything different!"

 

"Doctor Banner is a good man Loki, you leave him out of this," Thor said firmly. "Were it not for his kindness you would not even be here! As for the others, they will learn to adapt, or I will take you somewhere you will be safe."

 

"Like I am safe ANYWHERE anymore! I'm on more than one hit-list you blonde oaf! I'm not safe ANYWHERE. I'm not- I'm not- God fucking DAMNIT!" He said, feeling the tears start and his chest tighten.

 

Thor was at his side in an instant. "You seem to fail to understand how wholeheartedly we intend to protect and help you brother," he said softly. "Banner and Stark are no strangers to the kinds of hurt you have been through, and we do not hold anything against you. But," He tilted Loki's chin so that they were eye to eye, "You must tell us who wishes you ill, or dead. Even if the Avengers will not help you, I will."

 

"And what good is that? You me and Victor?" Loki sniffled, tightening the hold of the blanket around him.

 

"You seem to have forgotten the misadventures of our youth," Thor chuckled. "You really must dress though. They are waiting on us."

 

Loki gulped. "Long or short sleeves?" He asked, noting the bandages still on his arm.

 

"....Short might be best, but only if you feel ready," Thor said. "I will not push you."

 

Loki nodded, still shaking as he returned to the bedroom.

 

*MEANWHILE, UPSTAIRS*

 

"You REALLY expect me to believe this BULLSHIT?!" Clint roared.

 

"You would be wise to control yourself," Victor hissed.

 

"Or what, huh? You are totally at my MERCY. I could kill you in so many ways and-"

 

"Enough Barton," Steve said, glaring at the two of them. "I'm not making any decisions until I know all the facts."

 

Clint growled. The mission had been boring, and there was almost no action. He was ITCHING to fight, and-

 

_Ding!_

 

Loki, hiding behind Thor, exited the elevator. Everyone stood, glaring at each other.

 

"There is no need to become heathens and let this dissolve into fighting," Thor tried.

 

"Fat fucking chance!" Clint snapped.

 

Natasha was trembling, still just taking everything in from the chair. She saw the bandages, but for all she knew those could be a ploy and Loki could just be waiting for this moment to take them all out. But there was something.... different.

 

"You understand why none of us trust you, right?" Steve asked Loki. He nodded, still hiding behind his brother. "I want to see."

 

"Steve-"

 

"I know what's best Banner," He argued.

 

Loki took a shaky breath. "N-not without him," He said, pointing to Victor, whom Clint had gleefully tied to the chair faster than anyone could blink. It had made him feel better at least.

 

"And how do I know this isn't just some trap?" Steve commanded.

 

Loki sighed. He'd lived through hell and back. He never took his eyes off of Victor as he undid the tape, unwrapping the gauze from his arms, and holding it out. Steve gasped.

 

"I...."

 

"Thought I was lying?" Loki said lifelessly. "Wouldn't be the first time."

 

Steve closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What exactly is it you're looking for here?"

 

"An asylum I suppose," Loki mumbled. "If you don't want me I will go."

 

"....No, you're staying," Steve said.

 

"WHAT?!" Clint yelled, hopping out of his seat. "You're out of your-"

 

"Enough Clint," Natasha said. The archer growled and stormed off. Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. There was just too much going on. SHIELD was going to kill him for this, but he knew, if it were Bucky that had begged him for help, he wouldn't turn him away. Family was family. That was one thing he knew his Ma would want him to remember.

 

"I'm entrusting your care to Thor and Bruce. Take a step out of line and I'll let Clint deal with you, understood?" Steve said. Loki nodded, and then Steve was stalking out. What the actual fuck was his life?!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM ALIVE NO ONE PANIC. Life happened man. I got sick, then school started, and I'm only just NOW getting into a routine and finding myself writing again. Anyways, here's something. I'm still trying with TLT. Trust me, things will return to whatever passes for normal soon! :) also TRIGGER WARNINGS: Brief mentions of self-harm, and the study of it. Anyways, I also shamelessly insert myself in here (Which isn't too far off from a dream). Anyways enough babbling from me. Enjoy.

Steve tried to steady himself as he stepped on to his floor. There was still a lot about the future that was hard to understand, but for the most part, everything made sense. If it didn't, he asked. But this.... thing. He didn't get it and he sure as hell wasn't about to ask.

 

He was familiar with depression. Hell, he'd felt it before. But he never... he never understood what would cause someone to go THAT FAR.

 

"JARVIS, I need help understanding something," Steve admitted out loud.

 

"How may I be of assistance Captain Rogers?" The AI chirped happily.

 

"I.... I don't even know," Steve said. "I need to understand this... thing that Tony and Loki and Clint do."

 

"I believe you are referring to self-harm, am I correct?" JARVIS offered.

 

"It has a name?" Steve asked.

 

"There are hundreds upon thousands of posts tagged on tumblr, but Dr. Banner has compiled a safe set of data for you to browse at your discretion on the topic," JARVIS said. "You need only open your Starkpad."

 

Steve took a deep breath. "He didn't put anything gory in there, did he?" He asked.

 

"No, Dr. Banner has compiled what he refers to as 'a trigger free' file for you to open and gain knowledge from."

 

Steve nodded, opening his Starkpad. "Thanks J."

 

"Always a pleasure, Captain."

 

*MEANWHILE*

 

"Since when do you read cheesy biographies from the YA section?" Tony asked Bruce.

 

"Since said cheesy biography was both more interesting and enlightening than any of the psychology text books I've been pouring myself over," Bruce said. "This chick knows her stuff."

 

"What is that book even about?" Tony asked, pouring a mug of coffee and heating the water for Bruce's tea.

 

"Some teen's service project gone national. I think it might help all of us learn to better cope," Bruce shrugged. "She's got some pretty good ideas for Self-harm."

 

Tony wriggled uncomfortably. "Yeah. What was your plan there? It won't be long before I've got SHIELD breathing down my neck about it."

 

"Well, considering how much of an asshole Odin was, and with us to back him up, I think they'll see reason," Bruce smiled cheekily.

 

"And if they don't?"

 

"I have my ways," Bruce shrugged. "I need the psych help anyways, I can't legally obtain anti-depressants myself."

 

"I can," Tony chirped happily.

 

"And just what do you plan to tell Pepper, hmm?" Bruce chuckled. Tony stuck his tongue out. "Oh you wanna go there, huh?"

 

"Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" Tony smirked. Bruce frowned.

 

"Corner, now," He said firmly.

 

*THAT NIGHT*

 

Clint absolutely refused to come to the table for dinner, even with Natasha's badgering. So the table was one head short, but Bruce set some food aside for him and served everyone else. Including the two maybe-villians. Though after the past two days, he imagined that it wasn't very likely they would stay with that title for long. And looking at that vacant, hopeless look in Loki's eyes, he'd go green before he let anyone hurt him again. He saw himself in that man and he would not let what happened with Betty happen again.

 

"Um, so how long have you two been.... together?" Steve asked.

 

Victor smiled. "I think we stopped counting a while ago," He admitted, taking Loki's hand.

 

That got the mischief maker to smile slightly. "Shortly after our fight in New Mexico," Loki mused. "He was.... everything I didn't know I needed."

 

Natasha smiled. Just barely, but she knew that look. It was one of people rebuilding each other. The way she and Clint still looked at each other. "So then, and forgive me if I overstep my bounds here, but did Victor factor in to New York at all?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, again with the whole kind of BDSM thing? Idk. My head is spinning at the moment but I just thought I would share SOMETHING. Love you all and I shall see you soon! :)


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